NINJA BUSTS FOX AFFILIATE
(SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY) - April 20, 2005 - A mysterious ninja crept into a live television broadcast, whizzing processed cheese toward a news team and quietly tiptoeing through their report.
The stealthy invader infiltrated a WXXA-TV Fox23 broadcast undetected, as a reporter deadpanned through a live report, seemingly unaware of the cheese bombardment that ensued. One witness claimed that the cheese slinger vanished as quickly as he appeared on the scene.
Members of NEWSBREAKERS, a rogue media watchdog group, were reportedly on business in Albany. The group claimed responsibility for the intervention.
Video of the event is available at www.newsbreakers.org/video.htm.
"Cheese - especially packaged and processed cheese - has become a main tool of TV news," said NEWSBREAKERS anchor JD Rozz. "The honorable ninja nobly returned the wayward product to its original owner as a gesture of civic responsibility."
"I'm not going to lie to you, I took some heat from my colleagues for forecasting cheese in this evening's forecast," said NEWSBREAKERS chief meteorologist Norm Weathers. "But I saw ninja. I can't explain why, but whenever I see ninja afoot, I must predict cheese storms."
According to witnesses at the scene, the shadowy ninja bore uncanny resemblance to the fabled Cheese Ninja, believed to exist only in kung-fu legend. Cheese Ninja is regarded by many as the great master of media jujitsu.
WXXA-TV is owned by Clear Channel Communications. Clear Channel owns more 1200 radio stations and 41 television stations. The company recently received an on-air exorcism courtesy of NEWSBREAKERS.
NEWSBREAKERS is a nonpartisan, nonviolent media watchdog group. It offers comment and critique on the role of television news in informing the public. The group relies on parody and non-traditional media transformations. It is currently planning future events.