is a nonpartisan media watchdog group. It offers comment
and critique on the role of television news in informing
the public. The group relies on parody and non-traditional
media transformations and interventions.
Rozz - Anchor Desk
important to know when to flash a million-dollar smile or
deliver the troubled, somber face. I understand that while
not everything I report matters to me, it probably matters
to someone, and if I can reach that one person by using
the most up-to-date faces and gestures, then I can go home
with a sense of accomplishment. That way the news really
does make a difference."
eyebrows, teeth. It's JD's mantra, and living by those three
simple words has delivered him from the jaws of a humble
destiny to the central hub of the NEWSBREAKERS Communication
Center. Among a seemingly endless list of prestigious awards,
his resume includes six Emmys, a Pulitzer Prize, two Grammys
and a Darwin.
Weathers - Meteorology
every poor schlump whose inclement weather-related automotive
misfortune has become the material for a reporter's story,
we return the airwaves to the people, one unraveled story
at a time."
Following in the path of his given name, Norm has experienced
much weather, has often been in weather, and has seen a lot
of weather. Every day, he goes outside and sees what the weather
is, in order to report it accurately to the viewer. He has
been awarded the coveted "NBKS" award for the most well-structured
teleprompter writing two years running.
- Senior Political Correspondent
"We reporters are nuts. Nuts and bolts who aspire to
be pulleys and levers in the news machine. A machine driven
by a handful of media barons determined to deliver not only
your eyeballs, but your very innards to advertisers. Advertisers
dead set on selling you, quite literally, anything. Anything
allowed by the FCC culture cops, who seem to think getting their
panties in a wad over Janet Jackson's boob is synonymous with
getting the job the done. Good government? Good grief!"
burned his Communist Party membership card and is now a registered
Monk - Entertainment/Religion Reporter
carry on the tradition set forth by my "father,"
a celibate monk who often drank too much and thrilled the
monastic community with his drunken antics. Like him, I fuse
religion and entertainment in a way that often leaves me with
an illegitimate child."
Monk understands entertainment. When Enrique Iglesias makes
a trip to Morocco to search for his long lost grandfather,
Dizzy's going to let you know. If Sandra Bullock makes a movie
about a midwestern American housewife who falls for a lovable
news anchor, maybe played by Tom Hanks, Dizzy will stop at
nothing to bring you the real story that inspired the film.
He promises. Like the time Gloria Estafan wrote a book with
her dog. Dizzy did the interview…with the dog! And he knows
a lot about God, too!
Michaels - Sports
"Freedom isn't free. It costs $29.95 a month. The first
two months are 50% off, and you get free HBO."
Ted isn't covering the sport of NEWSBREAKERS, he's a very
confused individual. TV told him to buy duct tape and canned
goods. Now Ted's home is filled with rolls of tape he'll never
use. He has since donated the canned goods to Dick Parsons.